Imagine coming to a dinner party, a networking event or a meeting.
The people around you are beaming at you. They approach you joyfully. Seemingly effortlessly, you strike up a conversation with everyone, take center stage and make whole groups laugh. An appearance like a superstar.
This happens to you every day? Then you can skip this article and write your best tips directly in the comments.
However, if the thought of large groups of people makes you break out in a cold sweat or gives you the heebie-jeebies, you’ve come to the right place.
Personally, I am what is commonly called a “sales freak”. Always networking, entertaining people and having fun. But I also get out of practice sometimes when I work late into the night in the office every day for a long time.
So I know both sides. How to build a stage for yourself extrovertly and be the center of attention, but also how to warm up again with a few tricks.
That’s why I dare say I can offer you the ultimate guide to this. I’m excited to share with you my 12 simple ways that will lead you to the attention you deserve!
Tip #1 – If you can’t smile, don’t start a business.
This Chinese proverb hits the nail on the head. Just today I was at a kebab vendor. I wondered why there was nothing going on there until I communicated with the owner. He didn’t make a face, not even a tired smile crossed his lips. The kebab was good, by the way. Only, not many people will know that if the greeting continues to be dismissive and not friendly inviting.
What’s my point? An honest smile is like a door opener, straight into the other person’s heart. I can’t help but beam at every interlocutor. In this way, I subconsciously signal to him that I am well-disposed towards him, and he smiles back. This reinforces the positive feelings in him.
In the future, make sure to give everyone your best smile. Your charisma will thank you!
Tip #2 – With the peacock effect YOU are addressed and get a lot of attention
You want to outsource the tedious approach work?
No problem, just dress like a peacock!
What is the beautiful plumage of a peacock, can be an eye-catching accessory or a piece of clothing.
You won’t believe how easy it is for people to suddenly approach you and make you the center of attention.
I recommend you to think about what fits into the frame. I personally bought a very elegant three-piece suit for conventions. Since then, everyone talks to me about it without asking. And even months later, I’m still remembered as the one with the fancy suit. You can also choose an unusual color. For Christmas parties, for example, I have a special Ugly Christmas sweater.
There are countless possibilities: An interesting hat, a tattoo, a necklace …. There are no limits to the imagination.
However, branding expert Torben Platzer recently said in an interview: You are welcome to stand out, but it should not be too “cringe”.
Because then people won’t take you seriously and in the worst case will avoid you.
Feel free to write me what ideas you have for the peacock effect.
Tip #3 – How to develop the physical presence everyone remembers
I have the outrageous fortune of being quite tall at 6’2″. This gives me the advantage of a natural attention-grabbing presence in the room.
If you’re a slightly shorter contemporary, or contemporary, you should lengthen your legs with surgery and/or wear platform shoes. Kidding.
These options exist, of course, but we want to strive for a sustainable physical presence.
This is how you can increase your presence in the room:
- upright posture: always make sure to display an upright gait.
- Open posture: Be careful not to fold or hide your arms. It is best to use them to gesture.
- Build muscle: A stronger physique will give you a more impressive appearance.
Tip #4 – Stop funny behavior with the help of feedback
How many people do you meet all the time who can be safely categorized as “weirdo”? People who have something about them that makes them seem weird to us.
And we are usually too polite to reject them. So they steal our valuable time e.g. with endless monologues. And they themselves do not even notice our rejection (especially recognizable by our body language).
But how do you know if there is something strange about you?
One of my role models Ramit Sethi had the problem that he always got rejected for a scholarship. No matter how good he was in the interview, he always got a “no”.
How did he figure it out? He filmed himself practicing. And noticed that he never smiled.
It made him seem cool and off-putting. And so, with his new smile, he finally got his scholarship.
So don’t walk through life not knowing what might make you seem weird!
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Tip #5 – Become a small talk king
Small talk. Hated by most people, perfectly executed by a few.
How can you become a small talk king?
You’ve certainly had some conversations with people where small talk turned into big talk extremely quickly, right?
Was it the case that you had a common topic that connected the two of you?
That’s one of the best small talk drivers there is. And finding that common theme isn’t that hard.
Plus, you’ll find it easier when you’ve managed to be the center of attention and you can talk to several people about what you have in common.
After all, we’re lucky now that pretty much everyone has a glass life on social media.
When I get invited to an event or party, I just look to see who’s coming. And above all, who is interesting. This way, I can perfectly prepare myself for the interesting interviewees. I just study the Instagram or Facebook profile and look for common interests. If you don’t find anything in common, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll have an interesting conversation partner.
Tip #6 – How to keep a faltering or stagnant conversation alive
Surely you know the unpleasant situation when you both stare holes in the air and then one of you says “I’m going to get something to drink”.
Now you can of course ask a bunch of questions. Most likely you will come across as an interviewer.
A more effective way is to refer to previous topics and make a statement: For example, if your interviewer has told you about the latest Mercedes, then you simply pick up the topic and say how great you think the new driving dynamics feature is.
If it doesn’t get any better, then the other person is not really willing to continue the conversation. Then gallantly pull yourself out of the affair with “That was a pleasant conversation. Thanks for that, see you around!” Keep in mind that you should intonate this correctly.
Tip #7 – How to easily overcome the inner barrier
Does the thought of immersing yourself in a large group of people make your fingernails stand on end?
I felt the same way often enough. That’s why I learned two tricks.
Before that, I always tried to get an overview of the whole event first. This led to me taking longer and longer to “get an overview” and in the end I didn’t get anything out of it.
So I had to come up with a new strategy: Since anxiety increases the longer you think about something, I now have the goal of approaching a person within 60 seconds.
This can be done with simple things like “Where is the buffet?”, “Where is the toilet?”, “Is this your first time here?” etc. Don’t worry forever about what the perfect opening is.
If you want the perfect icebreaker, give an honest compliment. So you can walk up to someone and point out a fancy tie, a cool sweater, or fancy shoes.
As long as a compliment is sincerely meant, your counterpart will gratefully accept it. After all, everyone is hungry for recognition. If you give it to him, you evoke positive feelings in him.
Tip #8 – So you entertain the whole groups alone
People love to be entertained.
However, most of them do not dare to lead a whole group. Once you confidently master the other tips, it’s time to rise to the alpha of the group.
How do you recognize this alpha? He shrewdly and pointedly dominates the conversation. And he does this proactively, while everyone listens passively to his stories.
Of course, you have to have good stories in store for this. The best stories are always the ones you have experienced yourself.
For example, I like to tell the story of when we raised mice in the 9th grade classroom. We released these on skittish female teachers.
Think about several stories and see which one pulls better or worse with your audience. Pay attention to the body language of others when you tell. If people are literally hanging on your every word, congratulations! If not, try the next one.
Tip #9 – Spark the discussion in seconds
Another technique to dominate the conversation is to spark a discussion. Fun facts or a simple question work best for this, such as “By the way, did you know that breaking out of jail is not a crime?”. Or a current event: “What did you think of the Bayern game yesterday?” And already everyone wants to give their two cents. Now you just have to lead the discussion. But thanks to the previous tips, that’s already child’s play, isn’t it?
Tip #10 – The perfect setup
- Smile: As mentioned earlier, your smile acts as a door opener.
- Energy: Whoever has the most energy wins. Try to add 50% to the energy level you currently have. If you don’t
- know how, then just talk yourself into having the energy.
- Talk slower: Many people talk like a waterfall without stopping when they are nervous. Take a deep breath and
- take your time. You don’t have to win a speech sprint.
- Eye contact: People who can’t look you in the eye are kind of weird. Don’t you think so? If you find it hard
- yourself, try to add a single second on top of the eye contact you can currently hold. You will quickly get used to
- it and realize that no one will tear your head off if you don’t look him in the eye or if you look him in the eye for
- too long.
- Gestures: Don’t hide your hands in your pockets! Open posture combined with gestures is magic!
Tip #11 – Become the person everyone wants at their party
How does it sound to you if you could choose which party you go to? Instead of accepting every invitation, no matter how rare, just to have a social life at all?
Here’s a nifty plan to make that happen:
First, make a list of all the interesting people you already know.
Then work through the list by meeting them all one by one. Do exciting activities with them, go for a coffee or something to eat.
And don’t worry about someone canceling on you. After all, you have a list. Everything in successful life is a quota thing. If someone cancels on you, just ask the next one. And on and on.
If someone brings up a particular problem and you know a problem solver, match the two. Become a network builder.
When you eventually have your two or three “main” friends, you’ll find it much easier to meet new people. You can ask people to come along from a position of strength (because you already have your group). Why not start with your work colleagues!
#12 – Never go out to eat alone
I was very inspired by Keith Ferrazzi’s book “Never Eat Alone” at the time.
It took my networking to a whole new level. The core idea of this book is that you connect all activities with networking.
So when you go to work out, when you take a lunch break, or when you watch soccer. This way you use this time wisely and get to know exciting people better.
My experience has shown that you should be somewhat selective about who the other person is, though. Just make a list of interesting people you want to get to know better. And then enjoy the time at the next activities with interesting people!
Summary for the best attention tips
So, those were my best tips on how to become the center of the conversation. So that you can go directly into the implementation, here again a short summary:
- a smile works wonders
- with an outward conspicuousness the people address you, not vice versa
- with the right posture you will be much more present in the room
- to deal with the own effect, can bring amazing things to light
- good preparation helps you to address the right topics
- with a statement you keep the conversation going
- use the 60-second rule to overcome your fear of being addressed
- captivate the group with storytelling
- use fun facts to spark a discussion in a flash
- with an ingenious plan you can build up a large circle of acquaintances very quickly
- never eat alone!
What effective tips do you have on this topic? I am glad about your best tips!
PS: If you too want to get more attention online with your business, start your new website, PPC or online marketing here with the Monkeys.Digitalemail@example.com